“You’re right,” you mutter, “this is really none of my business.”

You hand the skellington over to Old Man Nickelback, who grins to reveal his yellow teeth and horrible breath. There is a man, you think, who doesn’t give a damn about dental hygiene.

“You’re a very sensible young child,” chuckles the old man. “Have a toffee apple.”

“Quackajew!” you yell excitedly, and take a bite of the toffee apple… and feel your consciousness slipping away. Too late you realise you’ve been poisoned, and the last thing you see is Old Man Nickelback laughing maniacally and the ghost of Johnny Franzetta standing behind him, looking disappointed.

Well done. You’ve managed to let down a hundred year old ghost. Also, you’re dead, and your teeth are covered in sugary, cavity-inducing toffee.


Patrick Magee died in 1912 and has been haunting the Internet ever since. He can be followed on Twitter or you can like his page on Facebook.


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