Hello faithful viewers!
As you can probably tell, it’s been a while since I had time to update the blog. But as far as reasons go, the reason I’ve got is pretty reasonable. You see, for the last four months, I’ve been working on a show for the Sydney Fringe called Every Episode of Doctor Who Ever Live on Stage.
Yes. It’s exactly as ambitiously impossible as it sounds.
I’m doing this show with the help of three other performers – my brother Ciaran, a young man called Nicholas Pond and a young lady called Rubee Sookee, who has never seen an episode of Doctor Who and has a distressing habit of calling the Ninth Doctor “Roy Eccleston”. Rehearsals are fun, they’re always marvellous fun; we don’t have to think about normal things, we’re saving the universe.
But oh lordy, despite my love of all things Who, writing this show has been like birthing a fully-grown Judoon. How do you condense fifty years and seven hundred and ninety eight episodes into an hour? By my calculations, that works out to four and a half seconds per episode – will the audience accept a four-and-a-half second snatch of Episode Five of The Sensorites if it means they have to miss out on the whole of the Pandorica speech?
So we’ve had to be clever. Very clever. Almost indescribably clever. For example, we’re doing the Pertwee era as the Brigadier trying to justify his increasingly ridiculous expenses to the MoD. Our Sixth Doctor is an excessively violent football player with a tendency to push opposing team-members into conveniently placed acid baths. Tom Baker is… well. You’ll have to come and see the show, won’t you?
Every Episode of Doctor Who Live on Stage opens this Wednesday, 9:30pm at the Factory Theatre. Follow this link to buy tickets. I’d love to see you all there.